It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This baby is an asshole
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
