Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The air taste purple.
Randomize
