You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize