im holly from the hills drunk
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
