I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
