I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
