Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
