Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
