Please, let me fuck your mom
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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