I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
