I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im calling her cock vulture from now on
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
