So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
