I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
