she looked like the before picture.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
