His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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