Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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