A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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