wake up i wanna do it froggy style
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
