I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
