found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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