Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
