I must be too annoying 4 u.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
