If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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