would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
