I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
