WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
