after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
