i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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