Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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