We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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