I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
