Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
