just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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