I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
