I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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