Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
