nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
