I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
