so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
