Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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