I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there's paper in my vomit.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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