I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I look excited, but its just a facade.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
