that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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