There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
