why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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