I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
