Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She announced her abortion via fbk
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
