dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize