I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
