This girl is more easily done than said...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
