she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
