and you said cock pushups were impossible
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
