I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im holly from the hills drunk
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
