Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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