my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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