I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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