Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
