I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
