wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
