and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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