There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
