I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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