And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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