Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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