Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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