i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
